“Hell on wheels.”   “Home-grown, not silicone.”  “Put on your big girl panties and deal with it.”  “Bad to the bone.”  Stickers and slogans plastered and painted on the helmets of Vette City Roller Derby girls leave no doubt: This ain’t a sport for sissies.  (If you need further proof, ask a derby girl to show you a picture of her bruises – we’ve all got ‘em.)  For more than six months, a roster of about forty women have met three times a week at The Skate Box in Bowling Green to hone their footwork, learn the rules of the game, and practice blocking, hitting, skating, and jamming as the members of  BG’s first and only roller derby league.

It all started several years ago, when “Geronimo Jenni” Johnson attended a Nashville Rollergirls bout with her boyfriend Rob.  She noticed the team was comprised of women of all ages, body types, and backgrounds, and saw that the team was more like a sisterhood of strong, empowered women.

 “The first time I saw a bout I was really excited about it,” Jenni said.  “There were women from all walks of life, and I really thought Bowling Green would benefit from something like this.”

Along with league co-founders (and statisticians) Meghan “Arithmekixxx” Nacke and Amanda “Fatal Subtraxxxion” Powers, Jenni started brainstorming, making phone calls, and writing down every idea that came into their heads.  A meeting was held in June 2009 to gauge interest and 50 people showed up, proving to Jenni, Meghan, and Amanda that Bowling Green was ready for roller derby.  Practice began in August 2009 and was marked by chills, thrills, and spills as many team members hadn’t been on roller skates since childhood.

 “Getting on our feet, we didn’t have coaches for the first few weeks, so we just skated in circles to music,” Jenni said.  “We’re not even scared of falling anymore. We just get back up.”

After Jenni recruited our coaches, Tucker “Tuck Norris” Davis and “Coach Rink” Ragan, VCRD skaters bought pads, helmets, mouthguards, and skates and began practicing the fundamentals.   Skaters worked on cardiovascular endurance and learned how to “fall small” to avoid disrupting the flow of the game, how to jump over obstacles, and how to give and receive hip and arm whips, just to name a few of the basic skills.

Speaking of our coaches, they were introduced to the sport at a bout in Evansville, Ind., home of Demolition City Roller Derby.  Rink, a lifelong Bowling Green resident and an active skater since his boyhood, was hooked.

“After seeing that first bout and falling in love with the sport, it’s as exciting as the Super Bowl to me,” Rink said.

Tucker, however, needed some cajoling before he agreed.  A Winchester native who hadn’t skated since he was a child, Tucker had plans: he wanted to hike the Appalachian Trail and maybe move back home.  It took Rink two weeks to talk him into it, but he eventually changed his plans, got a job in Bowling Green, and embraced his new role as coach. 

 “I dig it,” Tucker said, although he can’t quite articulate why. “I have no idea. It’s weird. It’s nothing I can actually put my finger on.  … One thing led to another and here we are. I mean, it’s definitely one of the best things I’ve got going right now.”

With names like “Knit 1 Kill U,” “Murderface Monroe,” “Full Metal Smack-It,” and “Kitty Cataclysm,” it might seem like this is a league made up of rough-and-tumble bad girls.  VCRD girls have a softer side as well; we are mothers, teachers, students, professionals, and, above all, committed to doing good for southcentral Kentucky.  A fundraiser held by VCRD last year for the family of seven-year-old Kayli Upton, who died in September of leukemia, brought in more than $1700, and league skaters have attended several local non-profit events at the Skate Box.  VCRD plans to incorporate as a non-profit organization this year and its members hope to give back to the community that has welcomed them with open arms.  (A January fundraiser at Tidball’s to benefit VCRD as we head into our first season garnered an overwhelming response for which we are truly grateful!)

For those of you wondering what roller derby is all about, here are some basics.  First of all, VCRD will bout on a flat track rather than a banked track, and so abides by the rules set forth by the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association.  The rules of roller derby are, on their surface, fairly simple. Bouts last one hour (two thirty-minute halves) and are divided into two-minute “jams” with 30 seconds in between.  Speed is of the essence: if someone is not ready when those 30 seconds expire, the jam begins without them.

Four blockers from each team gather on what’s called the “pivot line,” while one jammer from each team waits on a separate line 20 feet behind.  The first whistle blows and the pack begins to skate.  As soon as the hips of the last girl in the pack cross the pivot line, a second whistle blows and the jammers go into action.  Points are scored for every skater each jammer passes, so the jammers skate quickly to “lap” the pack as many times as they can.  The jammer who makes it through the pack first on that initial pass is designated the “lead jammer,” and has the benefit of “calling off” the jam at any time.  For example, if the lead jammer gets stuck behind a blocker and the non-lead jammer passes her, the lead jammer can call off the jam to prevent the non-lead jammer from scoring points.

OK, so if the jammers are the only ones who can score points, what’s the role of the blockers in the pack?  These ladies play offense and defense simultaneously as they help their own jammer get through the pack while blocking the opposing team’s jammer.  Skaters can assist their own jammer by knocking down or forcing out of bounds opposing blockers to clear a path, holding out a hand to “whip” the jammer ahead, pushing the jammer on the small of the back to give her a boost, or getting in front of the jammer so she can grab the blocker’s hips and propel herself forward.  One blocker from each team wears a special helmet designation showing that she is the “pivot,” and is responsible for controlling the pack speed and letting her teammates know where each jammer is.

Whether you’re on the track or in the stands, roller derby is a fast-paced, exhilarating sport.  The blockers are constantly turning their heads left and right to watch for jammers and other blockers who may be coming in for a hit, while the jammers are racing each other around the track and trying to weave their way through the pack.  Spectators on the sidelines – specifically, those sitting in the rinkside “suicide seats,” – have the added excitement of knowing that at any minute a derby girl knocked out of bounds may come skidding straight into their laps.  Even those sitting away from the action get in on the action, rooting for their team and cheering loudly every time a jammer breaks through the pack or someone from the opposing team gets knocked down.

Announcing all the action for VCRD will be Latenight Lyle of syndicated radio show “The Morning After,” and local musician/poet/comedian Kentucky Prophet.  Like Tucker, Lyle needed a little cajoling when Jenni, Amanda, and Meghan initially contacted him.  He thought it was a silly idea, but after attending a Demolition City Roller Derby bout he was sold.

“I fell in love with the sport after just one period of play and told the girls, ‘I’m in,’” Lyle said. “With the exception of ‘The Morning After’ it’s the best gig I’ve ever done, bar none.”

Latenight Lyle and the Kentucky Prophet are currently busy learning all the derby girls’ names, the ins and outs of the sport, and what various hand motions from the referees mean.  In short, announcers have to know the rules better than anyone out there because it’s their responsibility to essentially narrate the entire bout as well as keep the crowd entertained during time-outs and the period between jams.  Lyle said his goal is to “call stats better than anyone else does.”

“I can’t think of a better team to do it for,” he said. “These girls are amazing. In a short period of time, they will be a team to be reckoned with.”

In addition to skaters and announcers, VCRD also boasts statisticians, who keep track of points scored and penalties incurred; referees, led by head ref David “High Angle Hell” Sullivan; zombie cheerleaders the Little Dead Gorevettes; and a street team dedicated to getting the word out.  All these components work together to ensure the success of VCRD, Jenni said.

“It’s not one single person,” she said. “I think every single one of us who are involved has made it what it is now.”

In the coming months, VCRD will continue to practice and will begin traveling to scrimmage and bout with other roller derby teams.  We are always recruiting new skaters, referees, statisticians, and other volunteers.  We are also still looking for a venue in which to bout at home – so if you know of an open space with at least 15,000 square feet, please let us know!  Be sure to visit our brand-new website, www.vettecityrollerderby.com, friend us on Facebook or MySpace, or follow us on Twitter to find out the latest scoop on our two teams, the Vette City Vixens and the Bowling Green Hot Broads.  Thank you for your support, Bowling Green!

About the author:  Rachel “Patti Whack” Walston is the chair of VCRD media relations and a proud member of the Bowling Green Hot Broads.