New “50 Shades” better, but not by much

Published 10:18 pm Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Dakota Johnson (left) and Jamie Dornan appear in a scene from "50 Shades Darker."

In “50 Shades Darker,” the follow-up to the box office success – but critical flop -“50 Shades of Grey,” Anastasia Steele (played by Dakota Johnson) utters the line “It’s all wrong.”

That pretty much sums up this pointless sequel.

“Darker” does manage to be better than “Grey,” but the bar was so low that really isn’t saying much.

This picks up shortly after the original ended, with Anastasia on her own after ending her relationship with billionaire Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan).

Christian is desperate to get her back, to the point that he is willing to relinquish the need to have total control – in and out of the bedroom.

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As their romance begins to rekindle, two women from Christian’s past emerge (Kim Basinger and Bella Heathcote) resurface threatening to fracture the couple again.

There is also trouble in Anastasia’ professional life, with a boss (Eric Johnson) with his own agenda.

Like “50 Shades of Grey” I will admit that I am clearly not the target audience for this adaptation of the very popular E.L. James novel. Once again though I have trouble believing even fans of the novel will have much to enjoy about this overstuffed melodrama. This won’t be the worst film of the year, like the original was in 2015, but it’s still pretty dreadful.

The leads still have no chemistry, although I will say Johnson fares much better in the lighter moments. Clearly she realizes this is a big pile of trash and has decided to just roll with it.

When “Darker” is light, it almost works.

Those moments are few and far between.

The sex scenes continue to lack any spark, more silly than steamy. Tommy Wiseau’s sex scenes in “The Room” have more passion than “Darker.”

If it wasn’t for the sex scenes, I would be convinced the dialogue was written by an 8-year-old – so ridiculous that it’s amazing anyone managed to keep a straight face.

Any hints at outside conflict are left dangling, obviously to be resolved in the final film in the series “50 Shades Freed” – which opens next February.

That film is teased briefly during the closing credits, but let’s be clear “Darker” is essentially nothing more than a two hour trailer for “Freed.”

Talk about torture.

Starring: Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan

Directed by: James Foley

Rating: R for strong erotic sexual content, some graphic nudity, and language

Playing at: Regal Bowling Green Stadium 12, Regal Greenwood Mall Stadium 10, Highland Cinemas (Glasgow)

Grade: D