Grishams Kranks takes all the fun out of Christmas

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Christmas with the Kranks is a bad movie.

Scratch that its not just bad, its the painstaking, cinematic equivalent of taking a spike through the eye.

This adaptation of John Grishams Skipping Christmas wants to be a film full of holiday cheer, but all it winds up being is a film full of fools. The acting is terrible, the story is hokey and forced, and only the absurd soundtrack can manage to grab any laughs.

Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis play Luther and Nora Krank, a couple struggling with having to spend their first Christmas without their daughter, Blair, who has left for the Peace Corps.

Instead of moping, Luther gets the idea that the couple should take the money normally spent for Christmas and use it on a Caribbean cruise, essentially eliminating any observance of the holiday.

The Kranks decision isnt well-received by the neighborhood (which includes Dan Ackroyd and Cheech Marin), but they are determined to go through with their plan.

That all changes when Blair calls on Christmas Eve and announces she is on her way home with her new fianc to celebrate Christmas.

Allen and Curtis generally have respectable comedic talent, but they are embarrassingly bad here. Allen just isnt funny, and Curtis keeps jumping up and down and squealing annoyingly every time Blairs name is mentioned.

The supporting cast is equally bad, but its probably not their fault. This has to be the creepiest bunch of neighbors this side of The Stepford Wives so obsessive with the Kranks celebrating the holidays that is frightening to imagine what these people do with the other 300-plus days in a year.

Grisham has already scraped the bottom of the barrel with his legal thrillers, but this adaptation is easily his worse project yet. There is such a blatant attempt at capturing a warm-hearted Christmas message that it actually made me want to skip Christmas myself.

Christmas with the Kranks clearly wants to be a Christmas staple, but there is only one list this mess is sure to find its way onto – my 10 worst films of 2004.

Discount dandy of the week

This weeks discount dandy is Team America: World Police, easily the most offensive and funniest puppet movie ever made.

South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone have created a film that takes pride in offending everyone. Its laugh-out-loud funny, even if some of the jokes leave a guilty aftertaste.

Team America is the story of an A-Team style international police force out to stop terrorists and maintain global stability.

The movie is at its funniest when it chooses to attack other targets a love song that proclaims Pearl Harbor sucked is one of several clever musical numbers, and scenes that are sendups of films such as Star Wars and Mission: Impossible work well, too.

Team America isnt without its flaws. Like the film version of South Park, Stone and Parker tend to take some material too far, and the result is pretty juvenile. But puppets constantly spouting the F-word and passing out in their own vomit after drinking binges is funny!

At least I think so, and those who agree will find Team America to be a nice comedic alternative even if they may need to shower after leaving the theater.

Team America: World Police opens Friday at the Plaza 6, where are movies are $1.50.

Sportswriter/movie reviewer Micheal Compton, who was dismayed to find out Christmas with the Kranks wasnt the Jerky Boys sequel hes been anticipating for so long, can be reached by e-mail to mcompton@bgdailynews.com.  Daily News ·813 College St. ·PO Box 90012 ·Bowling Green, KY ·42102 ·270-781-1700