Grandfather Gianelli sighs. When he speaks, his accent is thick, his eyes sad and weary. This Italian-American immigrant has worked hard over the years to keep his extended family together in Hoboken, N.J. And now his beloved grandson is making noises about fleeing to Seattle to begin a new life. Even cannoli cant cheer him up. What ever happened to Italian family loyalty, to Italian tradition? How could his grandson just leave?We know what youre thinking. Grandfather or did you say Godfather is in the Mafia, right? How much do you want to bet that theres a cousin Guido in the so-called cement business? The grandson has a hit on him thats why hes going to Seattle, right?No on all counts. Which is what makes Joe DiPietros Over the River & Through the Woods a play currently being performed at the Second Space Theater in Fresno, Calif. and rare shows like it so remarkable, say some people who are sensitive to the ways that Italian-Americans are portrayed in the entertainment media. Heres a play intensely steeped in Italian-American culture: the familial loyalty, the food-pushing mother, the busy-body neighborhood, the loud and boisterous dinner conversations. Theres even a mandolin. But no Mafia. And that, say those who are tired of the entertainment media endlessly feeding on Mafia cliches, is far too rare. The Godfather wasnt the first Mafia film by any means, but it encouraged a slew of lesser copycat films. Now the cliches a swirl of menacing Mafiosos, crucifixes, linguini and blood are so fixed upon the American consciousness that the images become a convenient shorthand. Need an instant villain, either of the comic or dramatic variety? Just cast a swarthy-looking Italian, add the appropriate mood music, toss in some dems and doses and youre set. Theres no other ethnic group that would tolerate it, says Dominic DiFrisco, a Chicago feature columnist for Fra Noi, an Italian-American newspaper. Were easy prey. I think its going to stay that way a while, because The Sopranos is such a success. The media frenzy surrounding the HBO dramatic series brings the issue to the forefront. A lawsuit filed April 5 against the creators of the show by an Italian-American lawyers group contends the series offends the dignity of Italian-Americans by implying most are mobsters. At this point, your eyes are probably already starting to glaze over in anticipation of yet another story being swamped in an undiluted blast of political correctness. But the issue isnt nearly that cut and dried. For one thing, Italian-Americans cant even agree on it. The Mafia stereotype is more of a fantasy today, says Ed Fanucchi, a Fresno attorney and honorary vice consul of Italy for central California. It doesnt disturb me. I was born here in 1936, and there was no Mafia in this area. We just dont have that problem in Fresno. Fanucchi acknowledges that geography can play a role in the public perception of Italian-Americans. When you talk about Jersey City and Baltimore and Boston, thats a different story, he says. But Italian-Americans in Fresno do suffer from a Mafia connection if only in a humorous sense, says Annette Federico, a Fresno teacher and actress who has appeared in local stage productions. I just roll my eyes now, Federico says. But it bothers me. Ive heard it growing up my whole life. My father is Sicilian. The Godfather came out when I was in school. You just dont get away from all those jokes like, Are you guys in the cement business?Still, Federico says, as far as lifes great causes are concerned, Mafia stereotypes dont rank very high. A lot of other issues of injustice seem to be in front of me, she says. Other Italian-Americans are delighted with shows such as The Sopranos. Christopher Capra, a San Francisco public relations executive, religiously watches the show each Sunday. It doesnt offend me at all, Capra says. I look at The Sopranos as not a story about mobsters (but) as about family people yuppies, really who just happen to be in the Mob. The Sopranos lawsuit? I think it makes us a bit whiny. Capra acknowledges the effect of Mafia stereotypes. As a former TV reporter, hes lived all over the country. Invariably, wherever I went, the question came up: Are you connected? he says. It gets to the point where I joke and say yeah. I go back to the old Machiavellian principle: Its better to be feared than to be loved.