Organizations operate on two levels.

There are facts and metrics, which are readily observed and measured. Then there are nuances – the attitudes of the players; their focus, or lack thereof; and the details and daily conversations. These seemingly behind-the-scenes subtleties are what make or break an organization.

In John Steinbeck’s “The Log from the Sea of Cortez,” he wrote about two ways to experience a powerful fish:

“The Mexican Sierra (a kind of fish) has ‘XVII-15-IX’ spines in the dorsal fin. These can easily be counted. But if the Sierra strikes hard on the line so that our hands are burned, if the fish sounds and nearly escapes and finally comes in over the rail, his colour pulsing and his tail beating the air, a whole new relational external reality has come into being”

The alternative would be to “sit in a laboratory, open an evil-smelling jar, remove a stiff colourless fish from formalin solution, count the spines and write the truth ‘D. XVII-15-IX.’ There you have recorded a reality which cannot be assailed – probably the least important reality concerning either the fish or yourself.”

Steinbeck’s eloquent passage beautifully differentiates between experience and measurement. In an organization – be it a multinational corporation, a local school or a family – the obvious measures are often in Steinbeck’s words “the least important reality of the institution.” Yet sadly, the measurements are what many organizations emphasize the most. Many leaders miss the “a whole new relational external reality has come into being” portion.

For example, if a leader is trying to help the service team improve client engagement, he can measure the number of times people talk to customers. Yet this metric misses the most important reality: the quality of the conversations. It’s not hard to see how an organization that focuses exclusively on its number of calls could generate lots of meaningless customer interactions. They might even wind up eroding client relationships by annoying them with unproductive outreach. When a team is trying to win on the metric, it will start dialing for dollars. Rather than true engagement, the measurement will become the endgame.

When leaders distill every aspect of daily operations into quantifiable measurements, they lose the qualitative elements of the experience that could make their organization unique.

The challenge is that qualitative elements, like the fish pulsing on the deck or the depth of client conversations, are harder to measure than the number of spines or outbound calls. Qualitative elements require training, focus and coaching. They’re not simple to track. That’s why most organizations give up and settle for the “least important reality.”

When I was a young parent, I read studies about the impact nightly dinners have on children: stronger connections, improved school performance, better health, increased confidence, all the things you want for your child. Yet, I also realized that simply eating the dinner is not enough. Meaningful interaction is the secret sauce. So, while we worked to hit the metric (nightly dinners), we put our attention on the qualitative elements.

We worked to teach our kids the art of conversation, how to listen, how to discuss current issues and how to support one another as a family. They also learned how to help create the experience. We weren’t perfect parents. We didn’t get it right every time, but from interpersonal perspective, the dinners became the most important reality of our family.

You have a choice as a leader. You can focus on the least important reality, or you can challenge yourself and your team to bring a whole new reality into being.

– Lisa Earle McLeod is a leadership consultant and the author of several books. For more information, visit McLeodandMore.com.