After 27 years in an abusive relationship, Connie Kingrey-Knapp came out on the other side a survivor.

For Kingrey-Knapp, a virgin bride at 19, the abuse began on her wedding night. After the ring and the ceremony, she transformed from young woman to his piece of property.

She became a stay-at-home mom and wife who raised three children. After the children were grown and out of the house, in the 27th year of a hellish marriage marred by episodes of emotional and sexual abuse, she mustered the courage to walk away. With the assistance of a caring police officer who watched as she mouthed the words “help me” to him while her abusive then-husband was standing at her side, Kingrey-Knapp made her escape and never looked back.

Her plan included a stay at Barren River Area Safe Space, the area’s domestic violence shelter. Later she stayed with a friend until she was ready to be on her own. She kept her location a secret and obtained domestic violence orders of protection for several years. She changed her name, sought out professional help for post traumatic stress disorder and she got her voice, a voice she now uses for outreach to help other women.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Last year BRASS set a record for the number of people served by the shelter.

“We had the busiest year we’ve ever had last year: 395 women, children and one man,” BRASS Assistant Director Pam Hurt said.

That’s just the number of people who sought shelter. BRASS served an additional 2,800 people through the program’s non-residential services. The two demographics showing the largest increases were women in the 18-to-24-year-old age range and women 55 and older.

Hurt believes the growing numbers are the result of a new law extending domestic violence protection to people in dating relationships.

“I also think there has been a general awareness about domestic violence through the media,” Hurt said. “More people are becoming aware it’s not a middle- to lower-class phenomenon. It really does cross all socio-economic boundaries. I think there was stigma with coming to the shelter at one point. It was safe house. 

“The shelter now is so much more. We can help them get a car. We can help them save toward a down payment for a home and help them go back to school through the economic literacy program,” Hurt said.

“We’ve grown as an agency,” she said. 

BRASS is a 28-bed shelter. 

“We have been working with some funding services to find safe and affordable housing. We have a rapid rehousing program that helps victims pay the rent for three months and pay deposits for victims who are fleeing domestic violence,” Hurt said.

BRASS is also starting to see women seeking help sooner. When the shelter started, women in their 20s and 30s sought out help. Now many women come in at 18, 19 and 20 years old, Hurt said.

“They are leaving earlier to start over earlier,” Hurt said. “I think we are making difference. I am starting to see the change.”

BRASS already works with Western Kentucky University through the testing and counseling center and Hurt hopes to be able to work with area school systems to talk to young people about healthy and unhealthy relationships.

Often, teen girls don’t realize that getting one text message after another from a boyfriend wanting to know where they are, who they are with and what they are wearing is a red flag indicative of controlling, jealous behavior and signs of an unhealthy relationship.

“If we can reach that younger generation even earlier, make an impact when they are 13 or 14 years old, we just want to teach them about healthy and unhealthy relationships at an earlier age,” Hurt said.

Kingrey-Knapp sings high praises for BRASS and refers to the shelter as her life jacket.

“The night that I went to BRASS, that was the beginning of me being a full-fledged survivor,” Kingrey-Knapp said. “I was a victim prior to being at BRASS. I am no longer a victim. I am a survivor. …

“I knew I had to go on because I had to make something bad turn into something good. I survived for a reason,” she said.

Kingrey-Knapp divorced her abuser, who later died, and 10 years after being single, she found love and married her current husband.

She now volunteers at the rape crisis center Hope Harbor and also helps other domestic violence survivors.

“I didn’t have a voice for so many years that when I finally did get one, I didn’t plan on losing it again,” Kingrey-Knapp said. “If I can be a voice for somebody, then someday they may be a voice for someone else.”

— BRASS is holding several events for Domestic Violence Awareness month. The annual candlelight vigil in Bowling Green is scheduled for 5:30 p.m. Oct. 25 at First Christian Church. For other events visit http://www.barrenriverareasafespace.com/OCTOBER_EVENTS_FLIER_2016.jpg.

— Follow Assistant City Editor Deborah Highland on Twitter @BGDNCrimebeat or visit bgdailynews.com.