A feast of good film, 2007 still offered plenty of junk food
Published 12:00 am Thursday, January 10, 2008
Where movies are concerned, 2007 was a fantastic year – more on that next week. Of course, that doesn’t mean there weren’t some really bad ones.
When looking back at the highs and lows for last year, here are the films that represent the worst of the worst. Here’s hoping you managed to avoid them.
1. “The Brothers Solomon”
This embarrassingly bad comedy starring Will Arnett and Will Forte managed to edge out “Epic Movie” for top honors, mainly because the cast (which included Chi McBride) is good enough that they should have known better.
2. “Epic Movie”
Jason Freidberg and Aaron Seltzer, the creators of 2006’s worst film, “Date Movie,” appeared to be a lock for back-to-back worst movie of the year honors until “The Brothers Solomon” came along last September.
They’re on track to reclaim the spot, though: With “Meet the Spartans” due in two weeks, Friedberg and Seltzer are already the front-runners for the worst film of 2008.
3. “Perfect Stranger”
Academy Award winner Halle Berry continued her trend of questionable film choices (although she also starred in the great but little seen “Things We Lost in the Fire”) in this laughably bad thriller.
The ending, which was apparently one of three shot before the studio let test audiences decide, may well be the most ridiculous twist in cinematic history.
4. “Daddy Day Camp”
Cuba Gooding Jr. steps in for Eddie Murphy in this beyond-awful sequel. When Murphy’s decision to make “Norbit” instead looks to be the wise choice, that’s the only thing you need to know about this Fred Savage-directed fart-and-vomit jokefest.
5. “Saw IV” / “Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem” (tie)
Speaking of sequels, two of the most violent – and most pointless – get the rare double billing. Mainly because I couldn’t figure out which was worse.
6. “The Condemned”
This may have been the last gasp for WWE Films. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin may be able to cut a wrestling promo, but he’s not cut out for a career in action films. What’s worse, this surprisingly brutal R-rated film was marketed toward teens and other younger fans of World Wrestling Entertainment. No wonder people hate Vince McMahon.
7. “Premonition”
When it came out last winter, I said I had a premonition that this Sandra Bullock thriller about a woman who keeps jumping back and forth in time would wind up on my list of 10 worst films. What do you know: I was right!
8. “I Know Who Killed Me”
When you appear in a movie that is actually worse than “Georgia Rule,” you know you’ve had a bad year.
Celebrity-for-celebrity’s-sake Lindsay Lohan plays a one-legged stripper who discovers she has a stigmatic attachment to a long-lost twin sister. I’d love to have been in the room when this project was pitched to the studios.
Lohan trying to “perform” on stage was one of the funniest moments of 2007 – even more of a train wreck than Britney Spears’ “comeback” appearance at the 2007 Video Music Awards.
9. “Bug”
This Ashley Judd paranoia-filled horror film (I think?) was best summed up by a woman who attended the same showing I did.
As she was leaving the theater, she turned to her husband and asked, ‘What the (expletive) was that?”
My thoughts exactly.
10. “Because I Said So”
Despite a solid cast that includes Diane Keaton, Mandy Moore and Lauren Graham, this would-be romantic comedy is just plain bad, with unlikable characters doing unrealistic things in contrived and unfunny situations.
I really wanted to like “Because I Said So,” but ultimately I just felt pity for it. You expect films like “Epic Movie” to be bad, but a film with this much wasted potential proves to be an even more depressing experience.
— Sportswriter/movie reviewer Micheal Compton returns next week with his list of the 10 best films of 2007. Will “National Treasure 2” managed to squeak in? Will he consider straight-to-video gems like “American Pie: Delta House”? Will Sylvester Stallone get an A for effort, at least? Tune in next week!