Movie review: Worst movies of 2006? There are plenty from which to choose
Published 12:00 am Thursday, January 11, 2007
2006 was a good year for movies (more on that next week), but there were plenty of films that tried the patience of moviegoers.
Whether it was unneeded sequels and remakes or concepts that shouldn’t have made it past the development stage, the year was full of its share of films that made me groan.
Here are my selections for the worst of the worst for 2006.
1. “Date Movie”
This spoof of romantic comedies may be one of the unfunniest films I have ever seen. This mess of a film proved just how tough it is to make successful parodies like “Airplane” and “The Naked Gun.”
Sadly, the creative team behind “Date Movie” – and more importantly, the studio that greenlighted the project – didn’t learn its lesson. “Epic Movie” opens later this month, immediately making it the frontrunner for worst film of 2007.
2. “Little Man”
This follow-up to the Wayans brothers hit “White Chicks” was another one-joke film that wasn’t funny (a CGI’d Marlon Wayans starring as a very short criminal who hides out as an infant) – it was just plain creepy.
3. “Lady in the Water”
A lot of people were ready to run M. Night Shyamalan out of Hollywood after “The Village” (a movie I actually liked), but this pretentious fairy tale may be the last straw.
Shyamalan is so over the top and arrogant – even casting himself in a critical role – that I don’t think there was another 2006 release for which I had more disdain.
4. “Basic Instinct 2”
See Sharon Stone.
See Sharon Stone get old.
See Sharon Stone get old and naked and try to cash in on the film that made her a star 15 years earlier.
On second thought, let’s just skip it – which is basically what almost everyone did, since the film grossed less than $6 million in U.S. theaters.
5. “Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj”
This is what happens when you have a sequel that doesn’t even bother to bring back the title character.
This was like watching one of those bad straight-to-video comedies adorned with the name “American Pie.”
6. “When a Stranger Calls”
This lazy remake of a 1970s slasher film was boring, but did feature the distinction of having one of the worst performances in recent memory (thank you, Camilla Belle).
7. “Saw III”
I’m sure fans of this ridiculous trilogy were pleased to have something to do on Halloween. For everyone else, well, it’s basically the same junk you saw the first two times – only worse.
8. “Let’s Go to Prison”
Between this ill-conceived comedy and the almost equally bad “Employee of the Month,” 2006 wasn’t a good year for actor Dax Shepard.
At least “Employee” had Jessica Simpson for eye candy.
In “Let’s Go to Prison,” all you get is Chi McBride courting Will Arnett (something that still gives me nightmares).
9. “Crank”
This hyperactive thriller wasn’t boring. It was, however, crude, offensive and excessive – boasting the ugliest cast of characters of any 2006 release.
10. “Black Christmas”
This remake of a 1970s slasher flick (who knew?) edges “Deck the Halls” for the award as best reason to never celebrate Christmas again.
– Next week, Micheal will reveal his picks for the 10 best films of 2006. In the meantime, send your ill-reasoned arguments for a Marlon Wayans Oscar nod to mcompton@bgdailynews.com.