Why did the chicken go through the drive-through?

– It was hungry after crossing the road.

Thank you, thank you. I made that one up myself.

I didn’t see any cannibalistic chickens driving the three cars ahead of me in line at Zaxby’s. But I know they’re out there … somewhere … just waiting.

A friend and I pulled up just after 6 p.m. seeking dinner, but keeping a nervous eye out for flesh-eating fowl. Zaxby’s menu is nice and clear, but the stumpy speaker box sounds muddy. That probably contributed to the order-taker requesting we repeat our order. But she got it the second time: 10-piece chicken wings in mild, or &#8220Wimpy” sauce; regular Wings & Things platter, &#8220Tongue Torch;” spicy fried mushrooms with honey mustard dip; and medium Mr. Pibb and Coke. Our total was $18.18, more than usual drive-through fare, but a small price to pay for reducing the number of vicious chickens in the world.

We crept up to the service window. I feared we would find a horde of armed chickens waiting in ambush, but no; only a Zaxby’s employee who correctly rattled our order back to us, gave our change, and handed out drinks followed by a big spicy-smelling bag, all the while bantering with co-workers (or undercover chickens) inside.

Altogether, we waited nine minutes in Zaxby’s drive-through lane, plenty of time for vengeful chickens to draw a bead on us. But Zaxby’s is up-front about the likely wait: They cook everything to order, ensuring it’s hot and fresh when distributed. Big chunks of chicken can’t be prepared with the speed of a flipping burger.

My friend and I lost track of which drink was which before we got home – too busy watching the trees for chickens – but guessed right when we divided up the food.

Our dinners were still nice and hot in clamshell cartons, with mushrooms in a separate box. Mixed in were wet-naps, a handful of napkins, straws and our receipt.

My Wings & Things box held three chicken fingers, four or five wings, Texas toast, seasoned fries, carrots and celery, with ranch dressing and Zax sauce, but no ketchup for the fries.

Everything was hot, well-cooked and tasty, though the &#8220Tongue Torch” wing sauce is more of a mild afterburn. The mushrooms were a little greasy, but still crisp and good.

My friend also got carrots and celery, but packed in a separate bag that we didn’t find until later. Still he had plenty to eat – managing to wind up with two extra wings.

And he was grateful. When I asked about the quality of food, his head emitted juicy chomping sounds for a minute before answering.

&#8220Damn good,” he finally mumbled around a chicken bone.

I guess chickens are good for something after all. Evil little creatures. They scare me.

Zaxby’s

1801 U.S. 31-W By-Pass

Hours: 10:45 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. Sun.-Thurs., 10:45 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. Fri.-Sat.

Speed: Escargot

Accuracy: Doublechecked

Courtesy: So-so

Presentation: Full and fine

Food quality: Zax-tastic

– New restaurants will get at least an eight-week grace period. Send comments to Managing Editor Mike Alexieff at 783-3235.