Mayor Rudolph Giuliani and his estranged wife Donna Hanover are not the only ones finding out how messy divorce can be. While a majority of divorce settlements dont involve one party getting $6.8 million plus child support and legal fees, divorce in most cases sets in motion events over which individuals have little control. The research is deafening: Even strained marriages often are better than divorce. Also, studies are showing that the benefits of divorce have been oversold. Researchers at the University of Chicago have followed up on some of the more than 5,000 married adults interviewed several years ago about their relationships. What they found is worthy to note: A good marriage takes much attention and effort. But the feedback is: Its still the best way to go.Better than cohabitating? Yes, say the experts. Of the rising number of couples living together before marriage, many are making the decision based on the false premise that cohabiting is a way to make sure before saying I do for a lifetime. A report released Wednesday says these marriages are significantly more likely to end in divorce. While 70 percent of those who lived together for at least five years did eventually walk down the aisle, their marriages also were more likely to break up. After 10 years, 40 percent of couples that had lived together before marriage had broken up, compared with 31 percent of those who did not live together first.While there are many contributing factors, the report confirms the important role commitment plays in a marriage. People often move in together with the attitude that If this doesnt work out we can split up and its no big loss because we dont have a legal commitment. The problem is, many couples with this approach go ahead and tie the knot but then carry that tenuous approach toward commitment into their marriage. Commitment to a spouse and perseverance to face hurdles are the key to any marriage, whether the couple has lived together or not. While the number of marriages ending in divorce is staggering, there are still plenty of people who have found that most conflict whether it be money, depression and even infidelity can be resolved with communication and time. Sometimes its just a willingness to accept both the stronger and weaker characteristics of a spouse.Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half-shut afterwards, Benjamin Franklin suggested. The effect that commitment can have on future generations is staggering. Wednesdays report indicating that children of divorce are more likely to end up being divorced themselves should be a strong influence on whether to break up a marriage. For example, 43 percent of women whose parents were divorced split after 10 years; among those whose parents stayed together, the divorce rate was just 29 percent. Not only is present fulfillment enhanced by strong marriages, future generations will have more stability.